Uh oh, that shows an issur d’orraissa of quitting non Toireh sources😄 ביטול תורה! חייב מיתה! And that’s why they will not tolerate him (or her) in those communities.
Oh boy.,I am so sad. You really do have such a pure heart.
I did not want to say this, but my source (my daughter) tells me that your community is very very aware of the next guy. It’s true that I am in a different stage of life, but I’m not afraid to write anything. And I live in a very frum place.
Btw, I would be more afraid of the pepperoni pizza than this Substack.
I’m gonna give you advice:
-Make sure you get exercise—
-Move to a different place, preferably in Israel
-Say tehillim for other people, especially the hostages and the suffering soldiers and their families It feels good to take the attention off yourself.
-Go to Ohr Sameach for some period of time, a month or so. Argue and argue until you’re blue in the face.
Your writing is incredible. It is very descriptive and full of thought, imagination, and emotion. You come across as a sincere, smart, emotional, and loving human being.
Hopefully journaling and maybe sharing with some close friends will enable you to channel out some of the energy you have stored in your rich and complicated inner world.
It goes without saying that I feel and respect you, and would have wished to read more.
It is a pity you won't be continuing. May you have much luck navigating on.
Of the real differences between Charedi vs MO/ZO is tolerance. Although, current YU trends are towards insecurity in their faith unless they are received by Charedi rabbis; this results in the greater influx of…. intolerance.
The issue is not an easy one.
Here is a small example: how do you instruct your children in play dates with classmates who do not treat Shabbat with enough love and respect?
Where are those lines drawn?
The easy way out is to shun, excommunicate.
The hard way? Bring those kids to your home and show them another way.
We Charedi always say that if you walk in the mud, your shoes get dirty.
What they didn’t correlate was that life is never clean.
They are only so many fences you can put around the Torah. Too many and you create a maze that makes it much harder to get to the core.
It's been said that true success isnt achieved in the frum world until the wife is worried about the kids shidduchim. I don't know if you've gotten there yet but nevertheless it's been great. You've been an excellent contributor to this internet subculture. On to better and brighter things.
Bummer. Your stack was definitely in first place for my commenting:reading ratio. I felt, and still feel, like I have something meaningful to contribute to this space. Hopefully the conversations can be continued elsewhere somewhere in the future. Thanks for putting yourself out there, I've personally gained from it as well.
Very sad to see you go. This blog has been a phenomenal resource for so many of us. You write beautifully and your words resonate deeply. I find it tragic that you are being silenced by fear and hope that there are no more negative consequences for gently sharing your truth and experiences.
I hope you can find peace, happiness, and a way out of the conundrum of being a “double lifer”. I am looking forward to seeing your work again.
Wishing you the best my friend. Your voice is so very important. I hope you will resurface again. You have taught me a lot in a short time. I strive to live from love more each day but still have fire and brimstone to process out of my system.
Much of the edifice surrounding you is built on fear rather than love. I’ve thought about it a ton and I’m not any closer to knowing how it all transforms, but I know you will have such an effect on each individual you interact with, given your heart and generosity of spirit.
Do us a favor and don’t stop writing even if you won’t be publishing any time soon.
What made me curious was some of the comments to those links which suggested that the poster was the author, including one from the poster that looked almost identical to one you wrote as a comment on the substack. Also, I seem to recall that in one of your comments, you said you met many wonderful people through r/exjew. But it's possible I am mixing you up with somebody else.
You're writing was interesting but I wish you or someone else would flesh out what exactly you guys are so afraid of. It was hard to understand from your writings. Prior to this I had no idea that the average Orthoprax person feels so oppressed.
It’s simple, really. I want to be seen, and for people like me to be understood.
If your asking how you can help, speak up. Be the voice of love and acceptance in the face of fear. Bring awareness. Challenge suppression. With kindness and courage. Not with anger, that never helps. I don’t expect any one person to change the world. But each person choosing to act with understanding can make all the difference.
And the fact that you’re even asking... already means more than you know.
I don’t want to speak on behalf of the author but I assume what he’s looking for is not really a discrete set of behaviors (like a halachic ordinance to follow).
Prose like this is looking to express something felt and perhaps to find solace through emotional resonance with others.
The expression is comforting of itself but there is the most comfort in being seen, trusted, accepted, and loved for who we are - rather than for our how we measure up to a given set of rules that we didn’t choose for ourselves (and perhaps would not have).
Some people are made for those rules and thrive within their boundaries. Others can’t help but to question. For those who question, the pain of having to stay silent lest we suffer the social consequences of our conclusions can be truly excruciating. A deep inner isolation. (I don’t believe OP to be depressed, but many don’t survive this).
People who don’t go through this can’t grasp the experience. I believe OP is simply looking for empathy, a listening ear, the presumption of honesty... Perhaps to have his voice respected, even if it happens to be a dissenting perspective. To be seen and loved, what we all want.
Do not go gentle into that good night but rage, rage against the dying of the light
Uh oh, that shows an issur d’orraissa of quitting non Toireh sources😄 ביטול תורה! חייב מיתה! And that’s why they will not tolerate him (or her) in those communities.
You will be missed.
Thank you for your honesty and insight.
Best of luck and love on your journey.❤❤
Chatgpt credits ran out? Jk. I'll miss your writing, even if I have unexpressed doubts about it's authenticity.
Really?
Really
Mammish
We will miss you dear friend. 🫡
Oh boy.,I am so sad. You really do have such a pure heart.
I did not want to say this, but my source (my daughter) tells me that your community is very very aware of the next guy. It’s true that I am in a different stage of life, but I’m not afraid to write anything. And I live in a very frum place.
Btw, I would be more afraid of the pepperoni pizza than this Substack.
I’m gonna give you advice:
-Make sure you get exercise—
-Move to a different place, preferably in Israel
-Say tehillim for other people, especially the hostages and the suffering soldiers and their families It feels good to take the attention off yourself.
-Go to Ohr Sameach for some period of time, a month or so. Argue and argue until you’re blue in the face.
I so admire the honesty you have with your wife.
B’Hatzlacha.
It won't be the same without you. Your blog's influence will fuel sacred echoes. Your sacrifice is noble and we wish you the best
Well, I have to thank you immensely, as your writings allowed my wife to understand my perspective in a real way.
I will miss you as a writer, but please continue to comment on blogs related to our issues.
Your writing is incredible. It is very descriptive and full of thought, imagination, and emotion. You come across as a sincere, smart, emotional, and loving human being.
Hopefully journaling and maybe sharing with some close friends will enable you to channel out some of the energy you have stored in your rich and complicated inner world.
It goes without saying that I feel and respect you, and would have wished to read more.
It is a pity you won't be continuing. May you have much luck navigating on.
Of the real differences between Charedi vs MO/ZO is tolerance. Although, current YU trends are towards insecurity in their faith unless they are received by Charedi rabbis; this results in the greater influx of…. intolerance.
The issue is not an easy one.
Here is a small example: how do you instruct your children in play dates with classmates who do not treat Shabbat with enough love and respect?
Where are those lines drawn?
The easy way out is to shun, excommunicate.
The hard way? Bring those kids to your home and show them another way.
We Charedi always say that if you walk in the mud, your shoes get dirty.
What they didn’t correlate was that life is never clean.
They are only so many fences you can put around the Torah. Too many and you create a maze that makes it much harder to get to the core.
Every single chumra?
Is every day Yom Kippur? (It is for fundamentalist Muslims, as they daven 5x daily. We know where they derived those practices.
Did I misunderstand: at every point in time, one is either depraved or holy?
It's been said that true success isnt achieved in the frum world until the wife is worried about the kids shidduchim. I don't know if you've gotten there yet but nevertheless it's been great. You've been an excellent contributor to this internet subculture. On to better and brighter things.
Bummer. Your stack was definitely in first place for my commenting:reading ratio. I felt, and still feel, like I have something meaningful to contribute to this space. Hopefully the conversations can be continued elsewhere somewhere in the future. Thanks for putting yourself out there, I've personally gained from it as well.
-Yehuda
Very sad to see you go. This blog has been a phenomenal resource for so many of us. You write beautifully and your words resonate deeply. I find it tragic that you are being silenced by fear and hope that there are no more negative consequences for gently sharing your truth and experiences.
I hope you can find peace, happiness, and a way out of the conundrum of being a “double lifer”. I am looking forward to seeing your work again.
Wishing you the best my friend. Your voice is so very important. I hope you will resurface again. You have taught me a lot in a short time. I strive to live from love more each day but still have fire and brimstone to process out of my system.
Much of the edifice surrounding you is built on fear rather than love. I’ve thought about it a ton and I’m not any closer to knowing how it all transforms, but I know you will have such an effect on each individual you interact with, given your heart and generosity of spirit.
Do us a favor and don’t stop writing even if you won’t be publishing any time soon.
Yes keep writing and don’t publish please.
Curious why you got married, if you've been ITC 12 years?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Judaism/comments/w3g0p/iama_an_atheist_who_was_brought_up_and_still/
Yes, I am also curious about this
That’s not me. I’m not on Reddit. A friend posted those links
What made me curious was some of the comments to those links which suggested that the poster was the author, including one from the poster that looked almost identical to one you wrote as a comment on the substack. Also, I seem to recall that in one of your comments, you said you met many wonderful people through r/exjew. But it's possible I am mixing you up with somebody else.
You should restart this under a harder to id pseudonym
You're writing was interesting but I wish you or someone else would flesh out what exactly you guys are so afraid of. It was hard to understand from your writings. Prior to this I had no idea that the average Orthoprax person feels so oppressed.
If you want help you must detail what exactly you want https://ishyehudi.substack.com/p/solutions-vitalist-judaism/comment/81813737
I think @judahbennett302121 captured it perfectly below. https://exit98.substack.com/p/silence-that-speaks/comment/82072758
It’s simple, really. I want to be seen, and for people like me to be understood.
If your asking how you can help, speak up. Be the voice of love and acceptance in the face of fear. Bring awareness. Challenge suppression. With kindness and courage. Not with anger, that never helps. I don’t expect any one person to change the world. But each person choosing to act with understanding can make all the difference.
And the fact that you’re even asking... already means more than you know.
I think he’s explained it about as beautifully as anyone. Perhaps give the blog another read.
Did you click on my link?
I have no idea what he thinks I can do to help.
Then again, perhaps his post wasn't directed at me.
But I don't agree that he explained it well. Beautifully perhaps, but veery vague.
I don’t want to speak on behalf of the author but I assume what he’s looking for is not really a discrete set of behaviors (like a halachic ordinance to follow).
Prose like this is looking to express something felt and perhaps to find solace through emotional resonance with others.
The expression is comforting of itself but there is the most comfort in being seen, trusted, accepted, and loved for who we are - rather than for our how we measure up to a given set of rules that we didn’t choose for ourselves (and perhaps would not have).
Some people are made for those rules and thrive within their boundaries. Others can’t help but to question. For those who question, the pain of having to stay silent lest we suffer the social consequences of our conclusions can be truly excruciating. A deep inner isolation. (I don’t believe OP to be depressed, but many don’t survive this).
People who don’t go through this can’t grasp the experience. I believe OP is simply looking for empathy, a listening ear, the presumption of honesty... Perhaps to have his voice respected, even if it happens to be a dissenting perspective. To be seen and loved, what we all want.
My 2 cents.